dementia in the family

Category: My personal journey

  • Visiting my father with dementia

    “Your teeth look great!” my dad said – the first full sentence in a long time. It landed like a gift. Visiting him in the care home is never easy. Dementia has taken so much, but that small moment of clarity, of kindness, reminded me he’s still here, in glimpses.

    Visiting my father with dementia

  • Father’s Day

    Father’s Day felt hollow without my dad at the table – he’s back in the care home after a fall and hospital stay. Watching other families with grandfathers stung. I miss his quiet wisdom, his help, his presence. Even everyday problems remind me of what we’ve lost, piece by piece.

    Father’s Day

  • Birthdays & guilt

    I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.

    Birthdays & guilt

  • Thinking about loss and dementia

    I visit my father at the care home, grappling with the complicated emotions of being unable to care for him full-time due to his dementia. I think about the questions that have been raised by his nurse about the end of his life and hold onto moments of connection with him.

    Thinking about loss and dementia

  • Why we need to stop turning away from dementia

    I reflect on turning 40 and my father’s struggle with dementia, emphasising societal stigmas surrounding the condition. I critique the politicisation of dementia and advocate for greater understanding and inclusion of those affected. There are enduring connections beyond memory loss, and we need more empathy and community support.

    Why we need to stop turning away from dementia

  • Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday

    I wrote this on my father’s birthday in May 2024. I went to visit him in the hospital after he had a fall and was struck by memories of giving birth in the same building. I reflect on how amazing the nurses and the NHS are.

    Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday

  • The sandwich generation: between young children and a father with dementia

    I reflect on my father’s dementia, how it happened gradually and then suddenly. This is a post I wrote about a year ago, when he was still living at home and my son hadn’t started school yet. I felt trapped between caring responsibilities for my children and father.

    The sandwich generation: between young children and a father with dementia