Category: My personal journey
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Riot Women and midlife
Riot Women focuses on middle-aged women navigating that uniquely intense stage of life – caught between raising children and caring for ageing parents. Two of the characters are dealing with a parent’s dementia, while also confronting menopause and the other challenges that seem to hit all at once at this age.
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In denial about dementia
We are all, in some way, in denial about dementia. The person living with it, their family, even society. We brush off early signs, explain them away, or avoid thinking about them altogether. Yet dementia remains, confronting us with fears we’d rather not face.
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Care home visits and old photos
I visit my dad in the care home and sit beside him, showing him photos of my children in their school uniforms. When he reaches for my phone, I swipe to an old album of us together. A picture of him, young and strong, carrying me as a baby, hits me.
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What modern life does to our minds
After camping in the calm of a Sussex meadow, returning to London felt like sensory overload. The noise, concrete and pollution make me wonder what modern life does to our brains. With my dad’s dementia in mind, I feel the urgency of protecting my own future health.
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Visiting my father with dementia
“Your teeth look great!” my dad said – the first full sentence in a long time. It landed like a gift. Visiting him in the care home is never easy. Dementia has taken so much, but that small moment of clarity, of kindness, reminded me he’s still here, in glimpses.
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day felt hollow without my dad at the table – he’s back in the care home after a fall and hospital stay. Watching other families with grandfathers stung. I miss his quiet wisdom, his help, his presence. Even everyday problems remind me of what we’ve lost, piece by piece.
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Birthdays & guilt
I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.
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Thinking about loss and dementia
I visit my father at the care home, grappling with the complicated emotions of being unable to care for him full-time due to his dementia. I think about the questions that have been raised by his nurse about the end of his life and hold onto moments of connection with him.
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Why we need to stop turning away from dementia
I reflect on turning 40 and my father’s struggle with dementia, emphasising societal stigmas surrounding the condition. I critique the politicisation of dementia and advocate for greater understanding and inclusion of those affected. There are enduring connections beyond memory loss, and we need more empathy and community support.
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Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday
I wrote this on my father’s birthday in May 2024. I went to visit him in the hospital after he had a fall and was struck by memories of giving birth in the same building. I reflect on how amazing the nurses and the NHS are.
dementia in the family 