Category: My personal journey
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December and dementia
December is a month of contradictions: carols and care homes, twinkling lights and quiet grief. I juggle school concerts with visits to my dad, whose dementia means Christmas can’t be shared. This is December for the sandwich generation – holding joy in one hand, loss in the other.
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Running on empty while loving someone who’s forgetting
Life feels like a long-distance run right now—school runs, work, dinners, collapse, repeat. I know I need to visit my dad, but dementia makes every visit tender and painful. He hardly knows me, and sometimes my presence unsettles him.
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How to talk to your children about dementia
When someone you love has dementia, explaining it to your children can feel daunting. There’s no perfect way to do it — every family finds their own words. This is my experience of helping my children, who were very young when my dad was first diagnosed.
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Riot Women and midlife
Riot Women focuses on middle-aged women navigating that uniquely intense stage of life – caught between raising children and caring for ageing parents. Two of the characters are dealing with a parent’s dementia, while also confronting menopause and the other challenges that seem to hit all at once at this age.
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In denial about dementia
We are all, in some way, in denial about dementia. The person living with it, their family, even society. We brush off early signs, explain them away, or avoid thinking about them altogether. Yet dementia remains, confronting us with fears we’d rather not face.
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Care home visits and old photos
I visit my dad in the care home and sit beside him, showing him photos of my children in their school uniforms. When he reaches for my phone, I swipe to an old album of us together. A picture of him, young and strong, carrying me as a baby, hits me.
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What modern life does to our minds
After camping in the calm of a Sussex meadow, returning to London felt like sensory overload. The noise, concrete and pollution make me wonder what modern life does to our brains. With my dad’s dementia in mind, I feel the urgency of protecting my own future health.
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Visiting my father with dementia
“Your teeth look great!” my dad said – the first full sentence in a long time. It landed like a gift. Visiting him in the care home is never easy. Dementia has taken so much, but that small moment of clarity, of kindness, reminded me he’s still here, in glimpses.
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day felt hollow without my dad at the table – he’s back in the care home after a fall and hospital stay. Watching other families with grandfathers stung. I miss his quiet wisdom, his help, his presence. Even everyday problems remind me of what we’ve lost, piece by piece.
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Birthdays & guilt
I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.
dementia in the family 