Tag: ageing
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I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux
Annie Ernaux’s I Remain in Darkness is a raw, fragmented account of her mother’s dementia — exploring shame, guilt, care, anticipatory grief and the strange experience of losing someone who is still physically here. It made me reflect on how conversations around dignity have changed, and on my own dad’s illness.
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Taking both of my children to visit their grandfather
I took both of my children to visit my dad in the care home for the first time. It felt daunting, but it was gentler than I expected. Their presence brought light to my dad and the other residents.
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Grief in dementia
Visiting my dad now, I barely recognise him, and he doesn’t recognise me. Dementia changes everything—memories, personality, connection. Grieving isn’t a waste of time; it’s a way to honour what’s lost. And even in the sadness, there are moments that remind me he is still here, still my dad.
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Taking my six-year-old to see his grandfather
I took my six-year-old to visit his grandfather in a care home. I was afraid it would upset him, afraid of the changes, the reality of dementia. Instead, he met his Opa with calm curiosity, kindness, and resilience, reminding me that children see what is, not what’s lost.
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The shortest day, over and over
I visited my dad on the Winter Solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year. Dementia feels like living at a threshold — between past and future, daughter and carer. Advanced dementia, to me, feels like the shortest day, over and over again.
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December and dementia
December is a month of contradictions: carols and care homes, twinkling lights and quiet grief. I juggle school concerts with visits to my dad, whose dementia means Christmas can’t be shared. This is December for the sandwich generation – holding joy in one hand, loss in the other.
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The many stages of dementia
Dementia shifts in ways you never expect. Just when one stage feels familiar, another begins. My dad’s mobility, memory, and recognition change from week to week, and we’re learning to meet each moment as it arrives.
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Running on empty while loving someone who’s forgetting
Life feels like a long-distance run right now—school runs, work, dinners, collapse, repeat. I know I need to visit my dad, but dementia makes every visit tender and painful. He hardly knows me, and sometimes my presence unsettles him.
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How to talk to your children about dementia
When someone you love has dementia, explaining it to your children can feel daunting. There’s no perfect way to do it — every family finds their own words. This is my experience of helping my children, who were very young when my dad was first diagnosed.
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Riot Women and midlife
Riot Women focuses on middle-aged women navigating that uniquely intense stage of life – caught between raising children and caring for ageing parents. Two of the characters are dealing with a parent’s dementia, while also confronting menopause and the other challenges that seem to hit all at once at this age.
dementia in the family 