Tag: daughter
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Assisted dying and dementia
Assisted dying is back in the spotlight as UK legislation progresses. For people with dementia, it’s a deeply personal and often painful subject. This post explores how offering choice, with safeguards, could bring dignity and peace of mind – without devaluing life or rushing decisions. Compassion means respecting autonomy as well as vulnerability.
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One step forward, two steps back
Visiting my dad in the care home is a mix of quiet miracles and heartbreak. Dementia shifts constantly – progress one day, confusion the next. He said my name, something I haven’t heard in so long. I carry that small moment with me, even as everything else keeps slipping away.
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Walking, wandering & dementia
When dementia took my father’s ability to walk, it marked the loss of more than movement – it was the end of our shared rambles, his independence, and a lifetime of direction. This reflection traces his journey from avid walker to wheelchair, and the emotional terrain we now navigate as a family.
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day felt hollow without my dad at the table – he’s back in the care home after a fall and hospital stay. Watching other families with grandfathers stung. I miss his quiet wisdom, his help, his presence. Even everyday problems remind me of what we’ve lost, piece by piece.
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Birthdays & guilt
I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.
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What I wish I’d known: reflections for Dementia Action Week
During Dementia Action Week, I reflect on the journey of coping with a loved one’s dementia. Dementia is different for everyone, but it’s important to share memories while you can, seek support, and remember the power of simple presence. I also share some resources that I have found useful.
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Thinking about loss and dementia
I visit my father at the care home, grappling with the complicated emotions of being unable to care for him full-time due to his dementia. I think about the questions that have been raised by his nurse about the end of his life and hold onto moments of connection with him.
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Why we need to stop turning away from dementia
I reflect on turning 40 and my father’s struggle with dementia, emphasising societal stigmas surrounding the condition. I critique the politicisation of dementia and advocate for greater understanding and inclusion of those affected. There are enduring connections beyond memory loss, and we need more empathy and community support.
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Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday
I wrote this on my father’s birthday in May 2024. I went to visit him in the hospital after he had a fall and was struck by memories of giving birth in the same building. I reflect on how amazing the nurses and the NHS are.
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The sandwich generation: between young children and a father with dementia
I reflect on my father’s dementia, how it happened gradually and then suddenly. This is a post I wrote about a year ago, when he was still living at home and my son hadn’t started school yet. I felt trapped between caring responsibilities for my children and father.
dementia in the family 