Tag: family
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Birthdays & guilt
I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.
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What I wish I’d known: reflections for Dementia Action Week
During Dementia Action Week, I reflect on the journey of coping with a loved one’s dementia. Dementia is different for everyone, but it’s important to share memories while you can, seek support, and remember the power of simple presence. I also share some resources that I have found useful.
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The mind, memory and language with dementia
I explore how dementia affects memory and communication, particularly focusing on my father. I highlight the phenomenon of “time-shifting,” where people recall distant memories more easily than recent ones. Reading remains intact longer than verbal expression, while music evokes deep connections, revealing the complex relationship between memory, language, and emotional ties.
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Thinking about loss and dementia
I visit my father at the care home, grappling with the complicated emotions of being unable to care for him full-time due to his dementia. I think about the questions that have been raised by his nurse about the end of his life and hold onto moments of connection with him.
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Risk factors for dementia
Recent studies reveal new risk factors for dementia, including untreated vision loss and high cholesterol. While these factors are preventable, I reflect on the personal grief of watching a loved one with dementia. The anguish of late diagnosis underscores the importance of early intervention.
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Why we need to stop turning away from dementia
I reflect on turning 40 and my father’s struggle with dementia, emphasising societal stigmas surrounding the condition. I critique the politicisation of dementia and advocate for greater understanding and inclusion of those affected. There are enduring connections beyond memory loss, and we need more empathy and community support.
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He’s in a care home now
I reflect on the challenges of placing a loved one with dementia in a care home after a lengthy hospital stay. Although initially heartbroken, I recognise the comfort my father feels there despite the emotional pain of separation. This difficult reality seems particularly hard to accept at Christmas.
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Books about a parent with dementia
I was surprised when I realised how few books or blogs I could find that reflected the experience of what it is to have a parent with dementia. Here are three books that brought me a better understanding of what has been happening and made me feel less alone.
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Visiting hours: going to see my father when he was in hospital last summer
I wrote this last summer when my father was in hospital after a fall. He couldn’t come home because he kept trying to pull off the neck brace he had to wear, so he ended up spending months there until we managed to get him into a care home.
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Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday
I wrote this on my father’s birthday in May 2024. I went to visit him in the hospital after he had a fall and was struck by memories of giving birth in the same building. I reflect on how amazing the nurses and the NHS are.
dementia in the family 