Tag: health
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Bedbound
Visiting my dad is becoming harder as his dementia progresses. This piece reflects on a recent shift to him being bedbound, the emotional weight of witnessing these changes, and the challenge of accepting each new stage. I’m learning to be honest about the sadness, rather than always searching for something positive.
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Sharing about dementia
I explore the importance of sharing the realities of dementia with honesty and care. We need greater compassion, visibility, and open conversation to support people living with dementia.
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I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux
Annie Ernaux’s I Remain in Darkness is a raw, fragmented account of her mother’s dementia — exploring shame, guilt, care, anticipatory grief and the strange experience of losing someone who is still physically here. It made me reflect on how conversations around dignity have changed, and on my own dad’s illness.
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Grief in dementia
Visiting my dad now, I barely recognise him, and he doesn’t recognise me. Dementia changes everything—memories, personality, connection. Grieving isn’t a waste of time; it’s a way to honour what’s lost. And even in the sadness, there are moments that remind me he is still here, still my dad.
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The shortest day, over and over
I visited my dad on the Winter Solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year. Dementia feels like living at a threshold — between past and future, daughter and carer. Advanced dementia, to me, feels like the shortest day, over and over again.
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The many stages of dementia
Dementia shifts in ways you never expect. Just when one stage feels familiar, another begins. My dad’s mobility, memory, and recognition change from week to week, and we’re learning to meet each moment as it arrives.
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Riot Women and midlife
Riot Women focuses on middle-aged women navigating that uniquely intense stage of life – caught between raising children and caring for ageing parents. Two of the characters are dealing with a parent’s dementia, while also confronting menopause and the other challenges that seem to hit all at once at this age.
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Navigating caregiver guilt
I was recently honoured to be invited by Being Patient Voices to write a Voices essay, and I jumped at the chance to share my story. Being Patient Voices is a fantastic resource for learning more about dementia.
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What if you don’t want to visit anymore?
Visiting a loved one with dementia can feel heartbreaking, even overwhelming. I often dread it, knowing it will weigh on me long after. Yet I keep going—for love, for reassurance, for duty. If you’re struggling too, know you’re not alone in these complicated feelings.
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In denial about dementia
We are all, in some way, in denial about dementia. The person living with it, their family, even society. We brush off early signs, explain them away, or avoid thinking about them altogether. Yet dementia remains, confronting us with fears we’d rather not face.
dementia in the family 