Tag: life
-
What the body knows
Sometimes, despite everything dementia has taken from him, my dad’s body still knows how to rest. He sleeps, he dreams, and for a while, he escapes the waking world. Sitting beside him, I’m struck by how clever and resilient the body can be, even when so much else has been lost.
-
Learning to talk about loss
My daughter got upset for the first time about her grandad’s dementia. I’d been waiting for the moment it stopped being something she only understood in theory. When it came, it wasn’t new information that hurt her, but the realisation of what had already been happening all along in her family.
-
Bedbound
Visiting my dad is becoming harder as his dementia progresses. This piece reflects on a recent shift to him being bedbound, the emotional weight of witnessing these changes, and the challenge of accepting each new stage. I’m learning to be honest about the sadness, rather than always searching for something positive.
-
Sharing about dementia
I explore the importance of sharing the realities of dementia with honesty and care. We need greater compassion, visibility, and open conversation to support people living with dementia.
-
I Remain in Darkness by Annie Ernaux
Annie Ernaux’s I Remain in Darkness is a raw, fragmented account of her mother’s dementia — exploring shame, guilt, care, anticipatory grief and the strange experience of losing someone who is still physically here. It made me reflect on how conversations around dignity have changed, and on my own dad’s illness.
-
Grief in dementia
Visiting my dad now, I barely recognise him, and he doesn’t recognise me. Dementia changes everything—memories, personality, connection. Grieving isn’t a waste of time; it’s a way to honour what’s lost. And even in the sadness, there are moments that remind me he is still here, still my dad.
-
The shortest day, over and over
I visited my dad on the Winter Solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year. Dementia feels like living at a threshold — between past and future, daughter and carer. Advanced dementia, to me, feels like the shortest day, over and over again.
-
Running on empty while loving someone who’s forgetting
Life feels like a long-distance run right now—school runs, work, dinners, collapse, repeat. I know I need to visit my dad, but dementia makes every visit tender and painful. He hardly knows me, and sometimes my presence unsettles him.
-
Riot Women and midlife
Riot Women focuses on middle-aged women navigating that uniquely intense stage of life – caught between raising children and caring for ageing parents. Two of the characters are dealing with a parent’s dementia, while also confronting menopause and the other challenges that seem to hit all at once at this age.
dementia in the family 