Tag: motherhood
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Learning to talk about loss
My daughter got upset for the first time about her grandad’s dementia. I’d been waiting for the moment it stopped being something she only understood in theory. When it came, it wasn’t new information that hurt her, but the realisation of what had already been happening all along in her family.
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Taking my six-year-old to see his grandfather
I took my six-year-old to visit his grandfather in a care home. I was afraid it would upset him, afraid of the changes, the reality of dementia. Instead, he met his Opa with calm curiosity, kindness, and resilience, reminding me that children see what is, not what’s lost.
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The shortest day, over and over
I visited my dad on the Winter Solstice, the shortest and darkest day of the year. Dementia feels like living at a threshold — between past and future, daughter and carer. Advanced dementia, to me, feels like the shortest day, over and over again.
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December and dementia
December is a month of contradictions: carols and care homes, twinkling lights and quiet grief. I juggle school concerts with visits to my dad, whose dementia means Christmas can’t be shared. This is December for the sandwich generation – holding joy in one hand, loss in the other.
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How to talk to your children about dementia
When someone you love has dementia, explaining it to your children can feel daunting. There’s no perfect way to do it — every family finds their own words. This is my experience of helping my children, who were very young when my dad was first diagnosed.
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Father’s Day
Father’s Day felt hollow without my dad at the table – he’s back in the care home after a fall and hospital stay. Watching other families with grandfathers stung. I miss his quiet wisdom, his help, his presence. Even everyday problems remind me of what we’ve lost, piece by piece.
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Birthdays & guilt
I reflect on feelings of guilt and inadequacy surrounding my father’s recent birthday celebration in a care home. I compare this guilt to “mum guilt” and discuss the pressures of balancing family, work, and self-care. Despite the weight of these emotions, I seek positivity and self-compassion in navigating dementia.
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Falling: thoughts on my father’s birthday
I wrote this on my father’s birthday in May 2024. I went to visit him in the hospital after he had a fall and was struck by memories of giving birth in the same building. I reflect on how amazing the nurses and the NHS are.
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The sandwich generation: between young children and a father with dementia
I reflect on my father’s dementia, how it happened gradually and then suddenly. This is a post I wrote about a year ago, when he was still living at home and my son hadn’t started school yet. I felt trapped between caring responsibilities for my children and father.
dementia in the family 